Our Fake Baby
We want to have a baby, but we're not even remotely ready. So, we're taking nine months to get our lives together before we even start trying. And we're blogging about it. Humorously.
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Photo reblogged from What a Pleasant Surprise!
HOSPITAL BAG LISTS!
So, I’ve made one up. It’s REALLY LONG. In fact, I’ll show you how long it is.
Toothbrushes
Toothpaste
Cold cream
Make-up (powder and mascara, more specifically)
chapstick
shower shoes
gum/mints
brush/comb
hair dryer (for my husband. no, I’m not kidding)
mustache wax
massage bar (from Lush)
washcloths
razor (I have an electric one that I literally just turn on. I figured since it’ll be the first time I’ll see my cooch since a couple months ago, I might as well take advantage.)
iphones
ipad
charging cables
camera
battery charger
baby book
books/magazines
extra pillows
headphones
change for vending
cheap undies
loose fitting pants
big loose shirts
lanolin
robe
socks/slippers
nursing bra
boppy
change of clothes for Troy
bathing suit for Troy
starbucks via
gatorade
water bottle/mug
granola bars
suckers
car seat
mittens/sleeper
going home outfit
receiving blanketsPHEW!
What a long list, right? I’m sure we won’t use half of it. But, we’ll be there for a couple of days and this is just what everyone recommended us to bring that way we are comfortable and aren’t spending a million dollars down at the cafeteria.
Anyways, I’m making a list (this specific) so that way I don’t have to PREPACK my hospital bag like many women are suggesting. I plan on packing it when I’m sure that I’m in labor and I’m going to the hospital, that way it’ll buy me at least 20 extra minutes at home haha
I think we are getting ahead of ourselves. According to the birthing calendar we made last week for our fake baby, the mass of cells that will eventually become our very own imaginary bundle of joy, is just settling on Nicki’s uterine wall.
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People really are still reluctant to vaccinate their kids? This is something I honestly have no ability to understand. You love your children, right? Then you should want to prevent them from DYING or being crippled for life. This is a no-brainer, and I don’t think it should be a political issue, either. It’s just common sense.
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The Italians score a whopping 64 weeks for their babymaking. Until the child is eight years old, parents are allowed to take six months of each year off for the sake of their baby. Italian mothers are also forbidden from working two months prior and three months following their expected due date.
(Source: impulsivefarmer)
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pieconspiracy replied to your link: Fake Pregnancy Calendar of Events
Clearly he isn’t allowed to be involved until then. (what does that even mean?)
I don’t know. It’s pretty stupid. If the father of my child (fake or real) wasn’t getting involved or helping out until then, I’d be seriously concerned about his ability to be a father to my child. I mean, even if it’s holding my hair while puking or making a run for donuts, pickles, and orange juice, he can and should absolutely be involved from the beginning.
Which leads me to another point: I’m noticing a lot of questionable pregnancy and parenting advice out there. I think women and couples everywhere should be very wary about what a lot of these websites say, especially if there is no citation.
I also think that if you’re having a medical issue while pregnant, you should take any advice you get online with a BIG grain of salt, and then go see a real doctor. Don’t put your health or the viability of your pregnancy at risk because literally anyone at the other end of a computer screen felt they were competent to reply to your post.
—Nicki
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This site is called justmommies.com, implying it is only for actually pregnant women, but I used their pregnancy calendar anyways because I play by my own rules. It starts out by asking for the due date of the baby, then has different milestones for the developing child. My favorites so far are:
- Friday, August 3rd, Day 136, 19 Weeks, 3 days: Baby’s skin becomes less transparent
- Sunday, August 12th, Day 145, 20 Weeks, 5 days: Dad may become more involved in pregnancy.
I’m not sure exactly what that implies. I plan to be involved in the pregnancy, from the start (especially at the start)!
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Well, on the subject of books for kids, I submit one of my old favorites, Little Gorilla.
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pieconspiracy answered your question: This was one of my favorite early stories. “But No…
Chester by Melanie Watt - it’s a cat that keeps interrupting the story & trying to re-write it to be about him. My kids love it.
Aww! That sounds adorable!
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This was one of my favorite early stories. “But No Elephants” by Jerry Smath. It’s about an old woman who takes in a lot of stray animals, but when elephants arrive, there simply isn’t enough room in her house. I think it, along with a couple of others, basically taught me how to read. What are some other good early stories?
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According to one of those online due date generators, and counting today as the day of conception, our fake due date is Christmas 2012. Oh dear. —Nicki
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Photo reblogged from currently gestating
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Good news for expectant and nursing mamas who crave coffee: a new study has found that consuming caffeine doesn’t cause their babies to wake up at night, reports NPR. Read full story
Well, that’s good. I’ll cut back anyway, but I probably won’t ever be able to go without caffeine! —Nicki
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Hi there! We’re Mike and Nicki, a couple of 25-year-olds out in the world starting to think about having a family bigger than just us and our cat. We’ve been together for over five years and met in college. We’re not married but we may as well be.
Recently, we’ve started to think about having a kid or two. BUT, we don’t think we’re ready yet, and so we want to work a bunch of stuff out before we start trying to make one. The nine months we’ve given ourselves to accomplish these tasks will be our fake pregnancy.
This blog will chronicle our at times very humorous attempts to get everything in order, along with commentary on the process. On our To-Do List page, we’ll keep track of what we’ve accomplished, and, hopefully by the end of nine months, we’ll be a little more prepared to trade in our fake baby for a real one.
Here’s a little bit more about us. Feel free to ask us any questions you might have, too.
Nicki is a journalist and writer who works in the big city. She spends way too much time on Tumblr and the internet in general. She’s a foodie and a coffee addict.
Mike is a musician with teaching and childcare experience. He’s quite fond of video games. Our cat is his baby already, and they have an excellent relationship, apart from a lot of biting (mostly on our cat’s part).
We live in a decent-sized apartment, like long drives in the countryside, and have managed to not get on each other’s nerves too much. As 20-somethings, we don’t have much responsibility, yet, but we might just be ready for more.
